Team Goff

I got mad today.

A man I very much respect said to me, “I think you’re letting your husband’s potential career path hold you back.”

Um… EXCUSE ME?!

I am terrible at controlling my facial expressions and am certain my face told him to shove that thought straight up his ass [excuse my french]. Just in case my face didn’t say it for me, I fired back a little.

I think the part that upset me the most is this isn’t the first person who has said that to me.  I have heard it several times from multiple people.

I don’t believe I have to plead my case, but the therapeutic-writer in me is going to, so here it is:

I could argue that my husband is the most supportive human on planet Earth.  Hands down.

I could list 1 million examples of times he has supported me, even when it wasn’t logical.

When I wrote a children’s book that made me proud, he was the first person I shared it with.  His approval was all I desired, but his reaction was beyond my wildest dreams.  He was so proud of me he nearly cried.  He was the one who encouraged me to pursue publication.

If I told him I want to work 2 jobs, 80 hours a week – he’d say ‘I’ll miss you, but we’ll figure it out’.

If I told him I want to sell everything we own and live in a camper – he’d say ‘as long as I can still stream sports from the RV, we’ll figure it out’.

He is my teammate.  He is my best friend.  He is my biggest fan.  He is my cheerleader.  He is my rock.

It is the least I can possibly do to mentally prepare myself for the opportunities in store for him as his career grows.  With a passion of sports and a career in the coaching world, each year is rollercoaster.  Every year comes with the possibility of relocation or promotion or termination.  Every year we hold our breath – hoping that all the puzzle pieces of Division I Men’s Basketball might fall in such a way that would afford my husband the opportunity to be an Assistant Coach.

I promise when the opportunity presents itself, I will be my husband’s biggest fan, biggest cheerleader, and biggest supporter because THAT’S JUST WHAT WE DO.

If anyone believes that me supporting my husband’s career is somehow synonymous with me holding myself back, please think again.

His promotion is my promotion.

His loss is my loss.

We are a team.

Let me regurgitate Rachel Wolchin’s words for you ‘if we were meant to stay in one place, we would have roots instead of feet.’

I have many goals for myself.  All 9,000 of these goals can be accomplished anywhere in the world.

My feet are not roots. I’m flexible.

I don’t claim to speak for all girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, or husbands.  Certainly, there are situations far different from my own.  As for me, I’m proud of my husband and I will continue to prioritize working towards my own goals while also supporting his.

Don’t be a hater. Spread love.

XO