Three Doors Down brought me to tears today.
The radio station I normally listen to in the car was full of commercials so I scrolled through random radio stations until I heard a song. As fate would have it, right as I tuned into 107.7 the Three Doors Down song Kryptonite came on the radio.
Perfect timing - I didn’t miss a second.
I haven’t heard that song in years but still knew every word. As I sang along like an angry teenager I was flooded with memories.
Suddenly I was in the passenger seat of our rusty Chevy Lumina watching Norm drumming on the steering wheel with a cigarette in this hand. A sight I never knew I’d miss so much.
“You called me strong, you called me weak
But still your secrets, I will keep
You took for granted all the times, I never let you down...”
After a call to my sister I was reminded of another song that would bring back memories. Sure enough, Hate Me by Blue October was yet another tear jerker.
“And with a sad heart, I say bye to you...”
It’s been 3 weeks since he passed, but much longer since we’ve spoken. A fact that breaks my heart.
Time has passed, but the memories have not faded.
Norm was a passionate man. He had a temper that would shake the walls. Yet, the same passion that fueled his temper fueled his love.
He loved in a - I would kill for you - I would die for you - I would go to war for you - kind of way.
The way he loved makes a person feel impossibly safe. In a life of instability, he made me feel safe.
He didn’t have to love me. He was under no obligation. He fell in love with my mother which some might argue is not a choice, but he CHOSE to love me. He never called me his step-daughter; he proudly called me his kid. His daughter.
He loved me so hard and taught me so much.
I couldn’t even begin to tally all of the valuable, practical life lessons Norm has instilled in me. Funny enough, when he was lying in that hospital bed on life support the one piece of advice that stuck in my head was “don’t fry bacon naked”.
Yep, you read that right.
I couldn’t bring myself to speak when I saw him on that final video call. I’m only finding words weeks later...
Like the letter from the Iowa Lions Eye Bank stated, words seem inadequate... But as I stand here frying bacon with my left hand (fully clothed) and typing in the notes in my phone with my right, I just want to say:
Norm, I’ll never stop missing you. I thank you for choosing to love me fiercely.
I love you for all of who you were - the good and the bad.
I appreciate you for all that you taught me.
Please keep sending me signs you’re near.
Rest In Peace.